Still, I fight

Day 1: nightmares / "I'm already drowning"

CW: mild suicidal ideation

Ethan's lungs burned as he kicked and wove his arms through utter darkness with every ounce of strength he possessed, still, it was futile. No matter how much he struggled, he couldn't reach the surface. Every time he moved he grew weaker, every beat of his heart threatened to burst the veins in his ears. He could feel his body giving up the fight as he looked up, or what he thought was up, searching desperately for any sign of light. Hopeless.

"I'm already drowning," he thought, and still he swum, "I'm already drowning so what is the point?"

As the vision of his hands threading through the endless water started to fade, he felt the last of the air in his lungs be pushed out as he gasped, swallowing water.

Ethan was coughing, gripping his chest, as Vian shook his shoulders.

"Ethan?" Vian asked, brose furrowed and blonde curls in a tangled mess.

"It was just a nightmare, go back to sleep." Ethan answered, trying to shove his brother's concern away.

"I uh… I can't sleep actually…" Vian mumbled, letting go of him to start picking at his fingernails. It had been about six months since his twin started having episodes of insomnia, they had yet to tell their parents since they would probably put him on sleep aids without a second thought. If it got any worse, however, Ethan would have to break his brother's trust again. For now they made do.

"Fine, get in here." Ethan sighed, lifting the covers on the walled end of his bed. "If I wake up with your hair in my mouth tomorrow I will shave it off."

"You big meanie." Vian pouted but obediently braided his hair with a chuckle. "Thank you E."

"Don't mention it V." Ethan responded, pretending not find reassurance in the presence of his brother as exhaustion enveloped him in darkness once more.